"Civilian causalties were kept to an absolute minimum," says Metatron, official Spokesentity of the Host. A representative of the Adversary is quoted saying, "Heck, gotta give those celestial bastards credit. That was quality genocide if I've ever seen it. Was all we could do to keep up with 'em."
Independent observers estimate the death count being in the range of eighty-five million. Environmental damage includes the two moons shattering, two-thirds of the seas turning into blood, a rain of fire ("More of a drizzle, really," according to the Metatron), and the entire continent of Dew sinking into the ocean. (Our source in the Adversary's camp states, "Apparently, the ol' Blunderbuss of Mayhem misfired. Prince K'x'r'd'f'l swears by his Name he was aiming for that pansy-arsed angel with the incense bowl.")
When asked about plans for rebuilding the World, the Adversary's representative stated "Oh, yeah, we'll move right in and fix things up nice and cozy." He then ended his commentary with what this reporter perceived to be a rather half-hearted "Muahahahahahahahah." The Metatron chose not to comment, instead citing the Host's "Bigger Picture" doctrine, exhorting the struggling survivors to "have faith".
- Zandriel Jones, staff writer, the TransPlanary Chronicle
"When Things Fall Apart, We Bring You The Debris"
Independent observers estimate the death count being in the range of eighty-five million. Environmental damage includes the two moons shattering, two-thirds of the seas turning into blood, a rain of fire ("More of a drizzle, really," according to the Metatron), and the entire continent of Dew sinking into the ocean. (Our source in the Adversary's camp states, "Apparently, the ol' Blunderbuss of Mayhem misfired. Prince K'x'r'd'f'l swears by his Name he was aiming for that pansy-arsed angel with the incense bowl.")
When asked about plans for rebuilding the World, the Adversary's representative stated "Oh, yeah, we'll move right in and fix things up nice and cozy." He then ended his commentary with what this reporter perceived to be a rather half-hearted "Muahahahahahahahah." The Metatron chose not to comment, instead citing the Host's "Bigger Picture" doctrine, exhorting the struggling survivors to "have faith".
- Zandriel Jones, staff writer, the TransPlanary Chronicle
"When Things Fall Apart, We Bring You The Debris"
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